Tied down destiny

Wilson Orhiunu

First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu

Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly

A couple with fertility problems came to see me about 12 years ago but had arranged to be seen separately. The guy came in first and all he did was warn me not to disclose his past vasectomy to his darling sat outside.

Next, she came in and it was obvious she had her suspicions (for which man insists on seeing a doctor alone for an infertility problem). She asked to see his records and I explained that this was out of the question unless he grants his agreement to this in writing. A few months later I heard through the ever-active grapevine (receptionist who was told by a neighbour’s friend) that the lady solved the problem by announcing she was pregnant to her partner.

His first response was “that cannot be possible” and then he went on to accuse her of having an affair. The trap was set. He soon disclosed his past medical history in a fit of rage bringing an end to the relationship.

Well, the above never happened but you get the gist. The attainment of a shared goal or destiny is only possible when stakeholders come to the table with the truth.

People will always be people. Just like many lie their way through job interviews because they need the salary, guys lie to girls because they need a fresh warm bed and hot meals daily. Politicians lie to the electorate because they want power and fame and sometimes people lie to themselves to reduce the guilt that taking responsibility brings.

When stakeholders at a wedding (groom and bride) say their vows in presence of family and friends, onlookers are usually ushered into a sweet sentimentality and their general assumption is that both parties are committed to building something together and not taking advantage of one another for personal gain.

It is never enjoyable or inspiring to watch someone get deceived into thinking they are building a great destiny with partners when from the onset certain partners have made up their minds to take advantage of the unsuspecting person. People have been known to invest all their energies when they were at their peaks in life only to find out that they had partnered with users who discarded them when they lost their youthful powers.

Trying to conceive a destiny with someone who has had a vasectomy is the story of many African countries. The people are always hopeful for a better tomorrow as they choose leaders who promise them the earth. The leaders, however, make sure the foreign accounts are in place before they spend their first day in office. They report to work and loot for four years and then promise to do better during their second term. During the second term, the looting increases as there is no more election to contest and money needs to be kept aside “for retirement” and installing a successor.

The people and communities in these nations might work hard all day but that vital ingredient needed for success is missing so everyone is in an orbit that revolves around wasted lives and destinies.

When Nigerians see a man doing all the right things – working very long hours but having nothing to show for it – they say dem don tie down im destiny down for village.

Fruitfulness flows in pipes and once these pipes are tied they need to be unblocked or else people live lives of unfruitfulness and unfulfillment.

We all want to have something to show for the time we spend labouring. Communities all want to point to achievements. Nations want their processes to be studied by foreigners and replicated around the world. Everyone wants success. Everyone wants to be that success parable. That example of how to lead your life and main significant gains. No nation wants to be listed in the World Bank list of unfruitful countries and have people refer to them as latrine nations.

But the change must start from within the person, community or nation. One must be sure that those we partner with are going to do what they said they would do and have the capacity to perform (as demonstrated by past achievements).

Even looters will only use successful nations as safe havens for their wealth. Na who no like betta thing?