Five steps to moving on from a failed relationship


The searing pain of a failed relationship is one of the greatest sufferings a huge number of us will experience in our lifetime, but it’s important that we get back on our feet afterwards and move on.

Below are five basic steps we can start with while moving on from a failed relationship.

1 Come to terms with the situation

The idea of running away from things we feel is synonymous to almost all being. We act like they never happen and in our bid to act all strong, we say words like “I’m fine”, “it’s nothing” “I can’t be hurt” and more words we can all identify with. But try to understand that you’re human and it’s okay to be hurt. Come to terms with this feeling. Even when you think we’re avoiding the emotion, the consciousness of that hurt will continue to determine how you react to people from the opposite sex. So get a grip of yourself and come to terms with your now!

2 Debunk the myth

You probably think you’ve given all you have to your past relationship and the thought of losing it is incomprehensible. You feel like a long-time investment has just gone down the drain, but you now need to know that what you gave isn’t your all. At least you’d be dead if you did! You only gave a bit of what you have, and that knowledge alone should make you realise how much you still have left. So much more!  What you gave was what you have, not borrowed. It means you’re still capable of giving.

3 Know yourself more

Things always happen for a reason, but you might not see them during your hurting period. At this stage, make it a point to know yourself more. Take this as a conscious point in your life to understand some things about you. Sometimes we stay in relationships that take us away from us and make us more conscious of others. Well, guess this is now the time to be conscious of you!

4 Appreciate yourself

Nobody can love and appreciate you the way you can. After knowing yourself, appreciate what you know, all your perfect imperfections. They’re yours to love. You can’t expect someone else to love what you have more than you. A man is always happy to love a woman that loves herself because it radiates all over, and vice versa. You just went through a relationship that so many people can’t go through, and after the lost investment and the hurt you’re still standing. Appreciate yourself still. Give yourself all the love you have so that the next person you’ll date will know you’re not starving from love.

5 Better yourself

Revenge or sulking never repairs the hurt the way developing yourself does. Enter the business of bettering yourself. Be the person whose success and development make your ex doubt his/her sanity. Better yourself in all ramifications that they won’t recognise you when they see you.

In all, have it in mind that no matter what or who you are, you have to learn to move on from a past that no longer exists.