Unpopular side with Thomas Oti
Email: thomasoti@qed.ng
In the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Forgive me Father for I have sinned a lot. It’s been five years since my last confession.
Proceed my son.
I have told lies. I have been unfaithful. I have stolen money. I have deceived people. I have coveted my neighbour’s wife. I have committed adultery. I have committed fornication. I have committed abortion. I have committed the sin of sodomy. I have…
My son, let us take it one at a time. Are you trying to say you have committed all of these sins recently?
Yes Father.
Let’s take it one at a time. How many times have you lied recently?
Father, is that a trick question?
Trick question? Did you come to the circus or to the confessional?
I’m sorry Father. But I find that I so constantly tell a lie that I can’t tell exactly how many times I’ve lied. It’s like whenever I open my mouth I must tell a lie!
Ok. Can you estimate just how many times?
Father, I lie all the time. If I try to count and tell you now, even if I get the right number, I will rather lie to you than tell the truth. I feel it is in my nature to lie. The truth is so much difficult that lying is way easier.
But my son, if you cannot tell a simple truth, you will never be able to live right with God.
I know Father…
You must make a real effort to stop lying
I will Father. It will be hard but God helping me; I will make a real effort. I am tired of my own lies Father. It is so burdensome to have to consistently tell lies. And after one lie to tell another. It is so difficult to even keep up most times. But unravelling the lies I have told is going to be a problem. But God helping me, I will try.
That is all God requires of you; that you make an effort my son
But Father, I have also stolen
What have you stolen?
I have stolen monies kept in my care
God commands us not to steal. If you have stolen anything you must make restitution for it by asking God for forgiveness and returning all you may have stolen.
Hmmm…Father, that will be hard
Hard?
Yes Father. What I have stolen I cannot return
But you said it is monies in your care
Yes father. Monies in my care. But workers in my care too I have erm, stolen.
Workers in your care?
Yes father
Please educate me
Maidenheads father. I have stolen the maidenheads of a few female interns, youth corpers and young workers. Not all of them have been virgins of course but I have been privileged to have had the opportunity to deflower a few young women in recent times father
My son, God calls you to repentance. That you have found your way back to God is a good thing. You must abandon all your old ways and follow the path of Christ, the path of righteousness.
Yes Father
If you cannot return the maidenheads of the maidens you deflowered, you should return the monies you have stolen
That isn’t quite that easy either Father
Why not my son?
I have spent most of the monies Father
My son, for your forgiveness to be complete, you must return some of what you stole.
Yes Father I understand. But I have invested the things I stole in properties across the nation and across the world. I have spread the money far and wide and I have also spent quite a chunk of the funds Father
How much money in total are we talking about?
Hmmm…I can’t say for certain Father but it is in the region of $3billion dollars at the old rate of N200 to a dollar
But my son what did you need all that money for?
Father, as a political appointee, my job expectancy and expectation is at the most minimal. If I don’t take care of myself while I can, I will not survive the times Father.
But my son the good Lord who provides for the birds of the air without their labouring is surely capable of meeting all your needs. Why do you feel the urge to steal?
But Father, the good Lord gives the birds wings to fly, soar and pick anything they want. He gave me the position. If I don’t use it to soar to pick things that will ensure I’m never hungry and my children and their children’s children to the 10th generation are not hungry, won’t I be blamed for not using my opportunity well Father?
My son, you must desist from following such a destructive path. Ill-gotten wealth not of the Lord will condemn you to eternal punishment.
Father, no wealth is well gotten. And in any case, Jesus didn’t say rich people who got reach by any means would find it hard to get to heaven, He said all rich men would find it difficult. Why suffer to make the money and then suffer to make the heaven??? How about I choose my suffer as best as I can?
Your actions hurt a lot of people. God warns against this evil. You must desist immediately.
Ok father
You must make restitution.
Ok Father.
Continue with your confession my son.
To be continued
