Repeating yourself

Wilson Orhiunu

Wilson Orhiunu qed.ngFirst Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu

Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly

Many say they cannot stand people who repeat themselves. I am one of such people (the former group I mean). When in conversation, I start counting in my mind how many times the same thing is said and when I get to number six I am ready to pull out what is left of my hair.

Like grating the bottom of a metal bucket on a concrete floor or listening to a dentist’s drill, the serial repeater of phrases gets on the very last nerve. Worse still is when they are convinced of their superior wit and start to laugh at their verbal vomitus without noticing you squirm.

So who are these people among us aiming to make us crazy? First, we must exclude people with actually illnesses. Attention deficit disorders can make some people repeat themselves. Anxiety could make the speaker get so anxious to be understood that they constantly seek reassurance from their listener. Memory problems also simply means the speaker cannot remember what they have told you before.

While I don’t like repetitions, there is something I don’t understand.  Why do I like pop music which is all about repetition?  How am I able to watch a Michael Jackson video in which he sings ‘Billy Jean, she is not my lover’ over and over again and derive pleasure from it? In the song Zombie by Fela Anikulapo Kuti that word ‘Zombie’ is sung so many times without inducing nausea. I seem to switch off the word counter in my brain as soon as these songs start. The answer must be blowing in the wind.

Over time, I have come to see that there is another class of people who demand that I repeat myself. These are the ones who don’t believe that saying something once is enough. Children want to be told things repeatedly and they derive comfort from a familiar voice. Then the adults that behave like children make the same demands especially in the arenas of love and money. You could tell someone you are transferring cash to them the next day and they ask you thrice if you are transferring the cash the next day. The same goes for matters of the heart. Once a set of words have been deemed, ‘music to my ears’, then repeating those words becomes a desirable activity.

The Nigerian culture breeds a conversation style that is full of redundant and superfluous words. Conversation sometimes does not move swiftly along.  Take for instance the case of two friends, who have agreed to meet at a street corner, go to buy bread and then visit a mutual friend.

When the friends meet one of them is holding a loaf of bread and he tells his friend he met a hawker who sells nice bread.   His friend replies, “So we don’t need to go and buy bread again abi?”

“Yes”

“So we can just start going to Tom’s house?”

“Yes”

They get to Tom’s house and he greets them at the door with, “have you two arrived?”

“We have”

“You brought bread?”

“We did”

Stating the obvious is a Nigerian national past time. That combined with repeating the same thing over and over again makes foreign observers wonder what is going on.

Some feel that a louder voice and repetition conveys urgency or can be persuasive in arguments.

“Bring it to me now now!” or “Pay me today today” are the kinds of repetitions everyone gets used to without thinking about how talking like this must make you sound to a foreigner. Perhaps some people do not have confidence in the English language’s ability to convey meaning in a pressing way. It is almost as if words have lost their power and have to be used again and again to ensure the message ‘sinks in’. However, hammering at a point for too long produces the reverse effects. People switch off. There are some films written with the assumption that the audience are terminally stupid. The dialogue goes at snail speed and every single joke is explained so elaborately while every gesture is over dramatised. These are the products of screenwriters who do not believe that anything goes without saying. To them all things go with saying. Nothing is left to the imagination of the audience as there is a suspicion that the audience cannot think logically to come to their own conclusions.

Let it be known that all Nigerians are aware that a man driving a car in the streets got dressed, opened his door and walked out and locked the door behind him. He opened his car, switched on the ignition, drove out the gates on to the street. We do not need a film director to explain and dramatise the processes that lead to people driving on the streets, Abeg.

It is impolite to show you are irritated by someone’s boring repeat stories though. Diplomacy is key! When apprehended by someone who talks too much at a party you could always offer to go and get drinks for everyone and disappear. Acting skills might be needed if you want something from the serial repeater. Smile and laugh through the ordeal which might be a small price to pay for a business contact.

A country too has a narrative it sends out to the world.  Nigeria’s current narrative is ‘Change’ – precise and cute.  It is a repetition I like, a bit like a Michael Jackson’s song.  Words in a song however are not enough. There has to be a big budget video followed by a world tour – actions behind words which makes the repetition palatable. To that, add remixes.  We eagerly await the action packed videos to go along with the Change slogan.

Disclaimer – The author is a Nigerian father. He repeats himself to his children. Please don’t show this article to any Orhiunu.