First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
Some players score goals, run to the fans and kiss the club badge on their shirts. Others just trash around on the floor with joy. The badge kissers are not more loyal to the club than the badge kissers who just want to be seen to be displaying affection. However when a better deal comes, the badge kissers are off to greener astro tufts.
Some couples are players. Not satisfied to score and celebrate at home, they run outside in jubilation taking selfies for the world to see and share in their joy. That also is good. Public display of love keeps the social media world rotating, but these ‘notice me’ activities cannot be taken as proof of loyalty. Many have a get out clause written into their contracts.
Kodak moments can strike at unpredictable moments. A lady sees fluff on her man’s hair and is instinctively drawn to it. To observers she appears as a dotting lover picking off specks and fluff from her lover’s hair. A photograph of the intimate moment goes viral and the couple are stars. Kodak moments like Halley’s comets come rarely and people just cannot wait for their turn. Everyone wants to be a star, thus the mass production of Kodak moments. The problem of orchestrating a spectacular natural moment is that it is impossible to create, except on a big Hollywood budget. That is why the best photographs of couples displaying affection are those of actors and actresses on the set of a movie. They are able to sit around on the beach with a make-up, lighting and camera crew till the sunset is just right. The aura of romance conjured up sticks to the minds of those prone to fantasy and they make it a life’s mission to re-create the unattainable.
Couples are what they are. What is this need to openly display the inner workings of a relationship to the world? Reality TV stars do it professionally and I cannot fault their hustle. They pay taxes and create employment for many. When ‘ordinary folks’ copy them however it doesn’t quite hang well.
Perhaps some fear that if they do not show how much fun their relationships are, others might think they own shares in a dull union. So in other to dispel any such notions, they keep their friends updated which incidents of excitement that have occurred to them. Every gift is photographed and circulated on social media and every meal prepared receives the same treatment. We live in the information age afterall. I for one like to look at these pictures once in a while. We all do and it is much cheaper than buying glossy magazines. You pick up fashion tips, holiday ideas and things to get jealous about. However, these pictorial displays of the good life and romance stirs up something sinister in some, leading to what one could call a social media love competition.
One couple strikes a pose and another couple strike back like a Star Wars movie. Romantic plagiarism is rife on social media. One bloke calls his lady a Queen and suddenly everybody is married to royalty. Luckily for us all these royals only come out to shine twice a year; on birthdays and wedding anniversaries. Personally I love the royals but prefer the ones from Buckingham Palace. People should be who they are and not call their loved ones trending names. If you have always called him Apku-belle at home, don’t come out in public with honey or sugar. Playing to the gallery with terms of endearment always sounds badly manufactured (Is Aba made politically correct?). If you must name your lady after a food, be truthful. I see nothing wrong in calling her ‘Bitter kola-nut’ if that is how you feel. Why lie with false names like, ‘baby-girl, bunny, kitten, recharge card, BVN, honey-pie’ and then we are rang to settle your fights by 1am? If the real heartfelt name was mention on Facebook in reference to the spouse, such as ‘Yam head’, we would have asked what was wrong and gathered to settle the quarrel at a more convenient hour.
Now some love to hold hands, hug and kiss each other all the time. Practice makes perfect, and they do it everywhere without a care for who is watching. These are the naturals. They might make you cringe with embarrassment but we love their hustle. That however is not for everyone. Birthday party pictures are where you find people trying out the ‘romantic couple look’ in public with no previous private practice. We as people have never looked at so many images since the world began. I recall a time when the only images I saw were in magazines or in albums that were produced when I visited friends.
Now, I see an upward of 30 images before leaving the house in the morning and I have actually become a proficient looker and judger of who is natural and what is contrived. The same applied to you my friend. (We are all afflicted with the Amebo Virus).
A real nosey generation we are. Don’t the guys want to know what the other guys are getting at home to establish the ‘going rate’? Don’t the ladies squeeze out information from each other with sophisticated ploys such as “oga is taking care of you o” when they see a friend sporting a new hairstyle? The flattered beauty gets intoxicated and the tongue goes flying: “Not only that o. Hmmm. He has even ordered a new jeep for me”. To which the envious friend replies, “I go love o” smiling between her teeth and thinking, “can’t wait to get home and tell Apku-belle what his mates are doing for their wives”.
Public display of love will never go unnoticed. Build a Taj Mahal for your lover and we will all flock there to take selfies infront of it. Opening doors, looking in each other’s eyes, darling this, darling that, honey love this and that gives all something to talk about and even ammunition to fight with later in the night. A long running show on Broadway means a long queue of people waiting to see the show. Long live the romantic display show.
