I was sexually abused by my family’s house-maid – OAP, Dotun

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Cool FM On-Air Personality, Dotun, has revealed that he was sexually abused by his family’s house-maid while growing up.

The media practitioner made this known in a four-part post on Instagram on Monday.

“Folake was our maid for over two years who completely adored me way more than my siblings, serves my meals specially, never beats me when I do wrong, never reports me and sometimes makes my mum wonder as much say things like “sho fe like omo mi ju mi lo ni” meaning (do you want to like my child more than me) .. it was a fun gesture and we all would laugh it off but the price and adverse effect of whatever those advances were had a cost that would linger for a long time. Folake would want me to bath with her all the time, in the process asked me to fondle her breast, stick my fingers in her vagina, sometimes when she isn’t satisfied, she gives me things to stick in countless times, pulls my peepee, she will masturbate and make me watch and after the whole process,” he wrote in one post.

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(PART 1) Yall see Kings, Mentors & Queens in a Regalia wit crowns filled with stars. U all see tough people who are meant to be robots to you, meant to walk around with armors, save their faces no matter what, not meant to share what you all see as a show of weakness .. I laugh coz you all sometimes don’t know what it takes to be the king of your soul. A soul that can be snatched by a person’s filthy hands, bad habits, unprincipled mind & devious mind. I come from a very religious background where I attend church, Monday bible study, Thursday miracle revival, Sunday worship service, go to Ayobo for retreats on Easter, days before Christmas, Gbagada for combined services as a routine for a better part of my life, 20 years of my life. I was a Deeper life member and so if you want to speak to me about religion, think again cos I have seen it all. I got all the spiritual training, physical upbringing but one question is what happens when daddy and mummy decides to go to work? or hustle? drops you off at school or in church or the mosque.. who is in charge? The maid, the gateman, your uncle, your aunty, your brother, siblings, your pastor, your imam, your teacher etc .. who is in charge when they are not there? Folake was our maid for over two years who completely adored me way more than my siblings, serves my meals specially, never beats me when I do wrong, never reports me and sometimes makes my mum wonder as much say things like “sho fe like omo mi ju mi lo ni” meaning (do you want to like my child more than me) .. it was a fun gesture and we all would laugh it off but the price and adverse effect of whatever those advances were had a cost that would linger for a long time. Folake would want me to bath with her all the time, in the process asked me to fondle her breast, stick my fingers in her vagina, sometimes when she isn’t satisfied, she gives me things to stick in countless times, pulls my peepee, she will masturbate and make me watch and after the whole process, she will threatened never to tell anyone or else she will kill me. I started to get fond of it so much that I’ll refuse to take a bath with my siblings, refuse to eat any food except she serves it

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(Part 2) i didn’t know what it all meant to me but I started to get fond of going through that process. She eventually left, I became very withdrawn from other kids in school, I was very angry, I started to struggle with getting along. In my JSS especially, I developed a defensive mechanism of lashing out almost before anything was altered cos I felt in my head I was bigger than anyone coz I had done what they haven’t done before. Sex conversations was a taboo and so they were not in my league. I lived through school as a pretty stubborn one, not so bad in my studies but could have been better. my parents went through the hell of correcting me for everything, I and a few other kids started to love porn books like Lolly, Nackson, Hints & hearts. I actually paid a guy (Seun surname withheld).. if you attended Mayflower School Ikenne, you all will know who that is. At some point I became so withdrawn, I couldn’t talk to women that were my age, I just wasn’t fitting in and then I only subscribed to only women who liked me and told me anything else.. naaah!… Folake was all was in my head and I rode with this till my university days then I started to masturbate a lot, I had a withdrawal mechanism, I wanted to be loved so badly, I started to lose my self confidence In relationships I managed to have, nothing mattered, I was always seeking for validation, I was too hard on myself, I had to question myself many times if I am normal or not, I came across as a confident kid for those who know me but it was a front hence why I started to get too loud so I can be noticed, or too crazy so I would be the cheer of the moment but deep inside I still wasn’t fine. I built walls so much that you have to be as clean as snow for me to believe or trust you. I knew something wasn’t right and so I masked it with dance for starters. I knew I could swoon any woman who didn’t to hear me speak but loved the way I dance. I never told a soul. I started to read about these things, I was privileged to date women who recounted their stories of rape and you will be amazed the sort of traits they’ve developed as a result of this. I started to learn & read a lot on these things.

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He later revealed that after Folake the house-maid left, he resorted to masturbation.

In March, Dotun had complained about being forced to change his hair colour from blonde to black by the Nigerian Immigration Service before his passport could be renewed.