Close-up with KC Ejelonu
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Sometimes when I am angry, I just sleep it off or speak to someone so that the heavy loud is off my shoulder.
I know a family where the mother who is separated from her husband (her choice) with two kids as decided she wants out of the marriage but has refused to sign the divorce papers. At some point, she poisoned the mind of her kids by saying their father was a bad man. But the thing is kids grow up and become adults and make decision on their own.
Why is she angry with her husband you ask? Well, she can’t seem to point at the main reason. The husband has apologised for whatever it is he did in the past. According to her kids, their father got violent in the past but they feel their mother pushed him to it. Both parents used to drink and could not handle their alcohol very well, especially their mother.
Now we are getting somewhere. Alcohol was the root of their issues but the wife is not willing to forgive after 15 years. Imagine living for that long with so much anger. I can’t even begin to imagine that experience or would want my enemy to go through that.
You would think an apology would do the trick. The father went to apologise to his wife with the kids, and she said she had forgiven him, but in less than a week she was back to her old ways.
It does not feel good to be angry, and this is a clue that the emotion is likely damaging the body on a physical level. Simply holding in your anger isn’t the answer either, and according to study this has been linked to increase in blood pressure and heart rate.
Since it’s a given that we all are going to experience anger from time to time, its very important for our health to have a healthy form of release. You don’t want to lash out violently but you don’t want to hold it in either because it turns out the best solution is actually somewhere in the middle.
Here are some facts from Dr Mercola, a New York Times best selling author, about how our emotional heart is intricately linked to our physical heart:
“Negative emotions will invariably impact your physical well-being, and anger is no different. Emotional factors are actually one of the most important contributing factors for all diseases, including cancer.
“That is why an effective strategy to manage your emotional stress has long been a part of my top health tools, and this is because there is overwhelming evidence that your mind does matter when it comes to preventing, or triggering, diseases.
“The idea that your emotions impact your health and the development of disease is not new. Even the conservative Centre for Disease Control (CDC) has stated that 85 percent of all diseases appear to have an emotional element, but the actual percentage is likely to be even higher.
“Your emotions can actually trigger your genes to either express health or disease … and if you’re chronically angry or prone to uncontrolled outbursts you could be inadvertently sabotaging your health.
“This is why I highly recommend you work on overcoming your emotional barriers, whether they’re based on life’s anxiety-factors or more deep-seated emotional traumas that may have left you angry at the world.
“There are a host of techniques to instil positive emotions and thoughts and create a sense of inner-peace, and the best rule is to find the one that works for you, whether it is considered conventional or “alternative,” and keep on using it. Prayer and meditation are helpful for many.
“In my clinical practice, I have tried a variety of methods, and have been exposed to many more (both conventional and alternative) through my medical background, but none have come close to the success rate I have experienced with the Meridian Tapping Technique/Emotional Freedom Technique (MTT/EFT).
“With EFT, while mentally focusing on the psychological/emotional issues in a positive manner through the use of affirmations, pressure is applied to the same energy points used for thousands of years in acupuncture (these energy points are finally even being recognized as legitimate by the pharmacy- and surgery-addicted American medical establishment.)
“These energy points are only tapped, though, not punctured as in acupuncture, as it has been shown that pressure on these points is all that is necessary to activate your body’s bioenergy. This combination of positive mental focus on the issue(s) and physical stimulus to your body’s biochemistry is amazingly effective at eliminating the issue — be it anger, stress, anxiety, etc. — quickly.”