Defences and excuses

Wilson Orhiunu

First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu

Email: Twitter: @Babawilly

Talking about obesity sometimes does strange things to the obese person. They suddenly tell you many reasons why the weight doesn’t shift.

It is always the same list that gets rolled out:

  • Big-boned
  • Slow metabolism
  • The children
  • Lack of time
  • Lack of money

Then the lists of things that are not done get unleashed:

  • No chocolate
  • No alcohol
  • No sugar
  • No white bread
  • No fatty foods

After this list, you wonder what the solution might be.

It is almost like listening to the defence attorney for the body fat doing a marvellous job in court. Once there is a right to exit, that is proven beyond reasonable doubt then the case is closed.  The fat stays.

A well-defended city stays intact no matter how many enemies it has.  Ancient cities and castles had high walls that keep things in and people out.

For the body, the fat, the mindset and communication skills are the high walls that keep the fat permanently in the fortress.

The excuses are an adjunct to defences:

  • Hatred for the gym
  • Tried every diet and failed
  • Scared of bariatric surgery
  • It’s too cold
  • The roads are not safe
  • Too old to try
  • Body pains
  • No motivation
  • Embarrassed to walk the streets when obese

When faced with people with big lists, I try to communicate that justifying the existence of the fat is not what will bring weight loss as it is not a trial in court.  One has to ignore the reasons why, what has failed in the past and the foods not eaten.  An alternative strategy is to focus on how or why people successfully lose weight, visualise how one would feel having lost weight and analyse the foods currently being eaten with a view to reducing their caloric content.

There is no need in meditating on hated exercises that will never be done.  Serves no purpose!

Weight loss is one of those topics that are always on the lips in-between mouth-full of juicy carbs. Talk is easy but it is only actions that produce results.

For some strange reason, the lack of money does strange things to people with cash-flow droughts. They suddenly tell you many reasons why the poverty doesn’t shift.

It is always the same list that gets rolled out:

  • No inheritance
  • Born to the wrong family
  • Bad government
  • No opportunities
  • No support from the banks
  • Tribalism
  • Racism
  • None admittance into the areas of privilege
  • Cleaned out by ex-spouses

Then the list of things that cannot be done gets unleashed:

  • I cannot wake up early
  • I cannot apply for jobs
  • I cannot work
  • I cannot network
  • I cannot do sales

Once the list is read out loud, even poverty knows it has a home for life.  The justification of a state normally means that the state continues.  If poverty is a legitimate and expected result of a certain combination of factors, it stands to reason that the one who has ticked all the boxes is guaranteed a life of penury.

Like with excess body fat, excess debts or poor cash-flow can be addressed only if the defences are blown away and the excuses stop. This is a personal thing. There is no doubt, poor societies and being born into these places reduces the chances of making financial progress.  Worse, a lack of money is the lack of inspiration, imagination and ideas.  Empty pockets and empty minds soon equate to an empty destiny.

Poverty of the recognition of value is another problem.

Education, meditation, planning and strategising all have a value which some are blind to.  With no role models in a neighbourhood to direct the young (such as in a ghetto), the value system becomes warped.

I recall how I used to tell people I was not good with computers. That meant there was no reason to learn because I had attained the ‘not good in computers’ diploma awarded by my mind.

The wise village people would ask, ‘di ones wey dey good with computers, dem get two heads?’ But a sharp man (lazy man) would avoid anyone who challenges their limiting self-talk.

For a real change, one must adopt the philosophy of one of the characters; Tuco (Eli Wallach) in the film, The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

“When you have to shoot, shoot! Don’t talk!”