Dear women…including me

Close-up with KC Ejelonu

Email: Twitter: @kcejelonu

KC Ejelonu QEDWho is going to love you the way you ought to be loved? Who is going to look at you and confidently say you are beautiful? Who knows your worth and value? Go stand in front of a mirror; that is where you will find your answer.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a yoyo dieter. My weight always fluctuates like when PHCN is messing with us in our homes. But with every size I get to I make sure I am comfortable in my skin. The moment I become uncomfortable – during this period I feel too bloated – then it’s time to shed some weight.

I have tried some herbal tea for weight loss, getting a personal trainer and what not. I have also come to the realisation that a healthy, positive body image is hard to find. Forget what you see on magazine covers, every woman is insecure about one thing on her body. Kudos to the women who make it a duty to work out weekly and maintain a healthy balanced diet because that is the real answer to all our weight problems.

Dear women, we have to start saving ourselves. Have you had your kids and then let yourself go? No one is going to help you until you take the first step and make your mirror that best friend you have. You are reading a magazine or you see Beyonce or Jennifer Lopez performing on stage and of course you say to yourself “I wish I can be that size” or “I wish I can be like that when I have my own kids”. Trust me, I have been there before and said those exact same words. But after four weeks and you are still the same way, then procrastination is your enemy. You cannot live a healthy life if you sigh at every image you see and wish to become.


While writing this article, I came across a post on Linda Ikeji’s blog were a lady said she caught her husband cheating and her husband basically told her, “I love you and always will, but she is old, fat and worn out”. She also mentioned she got married at the age of 24 and has been married for 17 years. She further went on to say that she is 41 years old now and has spent 17 years of her married life taking care of her husband and kids. Also that her husband has refused to end the marriage and she is contemplating finding a younger man to please her.

Now my best advice to this lady is that she has just come up with an excuse not to look attractive to her husband.

There is a myth with most African women – once they get married and start having kids they feel that’s it. The sex with their husband is no longer the same. As a woman I do understand we work so hard taking care of the family and having a 9-5 job as well. All that is tough on its own. But the realisation is, if you are not giving it to your husband he surely will get it from someone else.

As women we need to be more organised, create time for the family and time for our husbands. Organise a weekend getaway and let the kids stay with their grandparents. If a woman has the time to go find a younger man to please her, she is not God fearing and not strong enough. Why not dedicate the time to work out and look good so the husband can find her attractive once again. The young man she finds will use her for her money, same money she can invest in working on herself.

A man loves a hardworking woman. Show him you can look even better than those young girls he is chasing about town then watch him spoil you silly. I am not encouraging anyone to be skinny and think that would make you look or feel beautiful in anyway. The key truly is being healthy, adapting to a healthy lifestyle, a healthy balanced diet and maintaining it.

Start by saying aloud the things you admire. If you hate your body, its shows on your face, it shows through the designer brands you use to cover up your body with or the bleaching creams you use.

Dear woman, invest positively in yourself.