The feeling of falling in love is described as magical, you laugh at the stupidest things and everything looks colourful. People are more than happy to share their experiences of falling hard for another person but no one really talks about how they fall out of love. Falling out of love is not an exact science so one does not know when it actually happens. However, it is a gradual process and one can actually notice when they feel not in love.
Here are some signs you might not be feeling the love in a relationship anymore.
- Poor communication
Most relationships grow as a result of constant communication. Some words like “you get me” are used to communicate partners feeling of love and understanding. However, if conversation between you and your partner feels insincere or you argue with each other constantly, your emotional intimacy has a huge problem. If almost everything that you say to each other takes the form of nagging, love and care can start to drain out of the relationship. When arguments are frequently repeated and never properly resolved, it is easy to forget why you ever enjoyed talking to each other in the first place.
- Being around other couples makes you feel jealous
Think about what it is like to spend time with couples who are close and content when they are together. If you find that seeing a happy couple makes you feel jealous or uncomfortable, this may be because it forces you to compare your unhappy relationship to a happy pairing. If you are regularly wishing that you had what you see between other couples, there is something deeply wrong with the way things stand between you and your own partner.
- Wandering eyes
The eyes say it all. If your eyes are starting to wander, then soon you may be wandering out of the relationship. If you are putting out those hungry eyes every time you go out or you get easily attracted to a man or woman you just met at work or on social media, you might need to take a look at your relationship. It is one thing to notice another attractive person, but if you are constantly leading with your eyes, you are leading yourself in another direction.
- Trust is lost
While it may be very difficult to trust people, it is the basis of every solid relationship. If something like an affair or the discovery of another major secret has shaken the trust between you and your partner, this can have huge ramifications for the way you relate to each other. When you don’t feel like you can rely on your partner, you will be hesitant to make yourself vulnerable, and the emotional distance between you will grow. If the trust has been missing from your relationship for a long time, it is highly likely that the love is now missing as well.
- The butterflies have flown away
Where have all the butterflies gone? When you are no longer in love, it appears the butterflies have flown away since you no longer get excited at receiving a sweet loving text message from your partner. If you are not eager to see or hear your partner’s voice every day, there is the possibility that you have fallen out of love.
- No more sex
One huge sign that love has left the building is if your sex life has left as well. Once sex is off the menu, then there is really nothing left to order in the relationship. If your sex life has been non-existent or deeply unsatisfying for a very long time, this is a clear warning sign that the love in your relationship has waned. It is especially worrying if the thought of sex with your partner makes you feel uncomfortable or trapped. Sex makes you two feel closer than ever, not having it can make you feel like you two are on two different islands.
- Fantasising about a life without your partner
Putting aside the issue of whether you fantasise about being with other people, ask yourself whether you have fantasies about an entire life that does not involve your partner. If you frequently catch yourself imagining living another life with someone else and being happy when your partner is not involved, it is time to do some serious thinking. You might not have an existing love life with your partner anymore.
- Cute habits are no longer cute
Remember those cute little things your boyfriend/girlfriend used to do? Well, now those “cute” habits feel like nails on a chalkboard. Love can blind us and make us see things in a different light. If that honeymoon stage of a relationship when you used to think your partners crooked voice is adorable is no longer there, there is a problem.
- Feeling something is missing
Falling out of love is difficult to explain. It is not easy to put this feeling into words or even put your finger on it. With that being said, you might feel one thing and it is a regular statement that “something is missing’. Having this sensation of emptiness is a big sign. So, if you are feeling that something is missing, and it is not just your keys or your expensive jewellery, it might be that you are locked out of love.
- No attraction
When you are madly in love, no matter what your partner looks like, you still can’t keep your hands off them. But when you may no longer be feeling the love, you also don’t feel attracted. You find excuses to not touch each other anymore. You blame not wanting to kiss your partner on not liking PDA or bad breath. When you start cringing at the thought of being intimate with your loved one, all signs point to the love being gone.