Pastor Siju Iluyomade has disclosed that she lost her father when she was 14 years old.
Mrs Iluyomade made the revelation during a recent sermon at The Family Fellowship Sunday service held at Oriental Hotel.
Sharing her experience, she said, “I lost my father at the age of 14. He never saw me do school certificate or graduate.”
She explained that his death meant he did not witness her complete her education or professional journey.
She added, “I was to be confirmed in Queens College, Yaba, Lagos. There was no father who came to look for me every week.”
According to her, the absence of paternal support during her school years made the loss even more painful.
Speaking further, she said, “I hid his death in my heart. I couldn’t bear the pain. I didn’t know who to talk to because everybody was grieving.”
She noted that keeping the grief to herself was a coping mechanism, as the family was collectively dealing with the loss.
On the bond she shared with her late father, Iluyomade said, “I could recollect how he treated me. I never knew there was gender inequality. In fact, I thought being a woman was the best thing ever. I was his loved child.”
She explained that his treatment of her shaped her early understanding of self-worth and gender.
She went on, “When I even met my sugar, I’d never speak about my father. I still can’t. It’s still that painful.”
Siju Iluyomade admitted that the grief has remained with her into adulthood, to the point where she finds it difficult to discuss with her husband.
She concluded with vivid recollections, “I remember two dresses in particular that he bought for me, a pink one and a blue one, short with little puffed sleeves. I remember the dress I wore to his funeral. I recollect vividly everything. So it is sometimes difficult to remember.”
She explained that these details remain etched in her memory decades later, highlighting how deeply the loss affected her.
Iluyomade is a lawyer, speaker, activist and founder of the Arise Women Conference.
She earned her law degree from the University of Ife and has worked in legal practice since 1985.
She also heads initiatives including Arise Women and Handmaidens Women in Leadership Series, platforms for women’s development and leadership training.
